When I came to put pen to paper, or hands to keyboard, for this topic, I had a hard time starting because so much came to me all at once. I'll try to break it up for you.
As a Child
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about the first time I learned about Heavenly Mother and what I did with that knowledge as a child. As a child, it was simply instinctive to want to know Her. She was important to me because how could your mother not be important to you? I loved both my earthly parents, so it made sense to want to know and love both my heavenly parents.
As a Mother
My thoughts about Heavenly Mother changed perspective when I became a mother. I am now on the "other side" and knew more about what it means to love a person who is so completely dependent on you, and yet so unique with independent thoughts. To imagine a mother who was faceless and essentially non-existent to her children is abhorrent to me. And to imagine a father who tells his children not to talk to their mother is just... well, abusive. I cannot accept the idea that she needs protection from her children- is she all powerful or not? I have started thinking of her more lately partly because I think we needlessly separate ourselves from Her. And distancing myself from the feminine divine feels like I'm rejecting half of God.
As a Woman
This is the most wounded part of me when it comes to knowing Heavenly Mother. The insistence from others that it's not important now to have a relationship with Her pains me. If it's not important to have a relationship with the one exalted woman I know of, who is perfect and Eternal, why bother working on relationships with the mortal, flawed, imperfect women around us? If She's not important- the person I hope to someday be like- am I not important?
That is the pain of not having a Heavenly Mother to me. If She has no purpose, then I have no purpose- no reason to exist.
When I think of Her, I am also thinking of all the women around me. I am thinking of them and who they can become. When I insist that our Heavenly Mother needs to be spoken of, I am insisting that we need to speak of each other as well. We need both heavenly parents. We need to know and understand who they are to know and understand each other. We need each other.